Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
