I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize