I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
