worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize