I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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