His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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