So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
