Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
