Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We are all done wearing pants today
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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