The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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