My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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