oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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