i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Randomize
