:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize