I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
