So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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