I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
