Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
