How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I deserve this hangover.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
