Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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