I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
