Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
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When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize