Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
