i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
