and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
