Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
