Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
