i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
