If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
