There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i now understand why vodka
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
