Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
