Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
