i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
