what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
