More tranny stories later!
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
another moral hangover. fuck.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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