If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize