The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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