doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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