Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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