I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
