Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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