I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
