No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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