im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
someone get that fucking seahorse.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
