dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
