i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We need a shit load of segways right now
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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