On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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