Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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