Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
