I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
