i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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