Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
