I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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