piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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