haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize