Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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