hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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