so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
