Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
