do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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