I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
