im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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