so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
