I hate your face
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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