yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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