are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
